Do You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner?

Is it difficult for you to talk openly with your partner? Are you often worried that you’re thoughts and feelings will be criticized, invalidated or unsupported by your partner? Do you feel detached or alone? Perhaps you and your partner are struggling to connect intimately and/or prioritizing other aspects of your life over your relationship. Or maybe years of living together and tending to careers and/or kids has left you feeling consistently overwhelmed and unable to give your relationship the care it needs. Perhaps happy memories of your once loving relationship are now met with chronic lapses in communication. Have you and your partner developed a pattern of having the same kind of fight again and again, never reaching a stable or effective resolution? Do you wish you could find a way to reconnect with your partner and reignite the spark that once brought you together?

Feeling alone in your relationship can be a deeply confusing experience that can cause an unmanageable amount of insecurity and pain. Falling out of harmony and into a routine of chronic criticism or minimal interactions can wreak havoc in every aspect of your life. You may feel unsure if you want to continue your relationship. Or maybe you desperately want to work through your issues and reconnect with your partner in a loving, thoughtful and meaningful way.  Over time, however, unresolved issues can become even more complicated and vast, compounding feelings of anxiety, sadness and yearning.

All Couples Face Challenges

It’s completely normal for couples to occasionally disengage and disagree. Many couples that felt utterly infatuated at first may notice their intimate connection fade overtime. If the distance between you and your partner has caused to you wonder, How did I get here?, know that it’s not your fault. Most of us were never taught how to be good partners. We don’t take classes or receive mandatory instructions on how to regulate our emotions or balance two entirely different worldviews. We all come into our relationships with a history of unique culture and families of origin. It’s unreasonable to expect two people of diverse backgrounds to not occasionally clash. Many couples feel like they should be able to figure out their relationship troubles on their own, but the truth is, we were never taught how. Sometimes, we all need help—outside, impartial advice on how to consider our circumstances and refocus our self-care goals.

While relationship challenges are common—and most couples could benefit from couples counseling—there are times when relationship issues become too great to handle alone. Third party objective guidance and support can help you form new, healthier perspectives about yourself and your relationship. If you and your partner feel like something fundamental in your relationship is awry, couples counseling can help you understand and communicate with each other more effectively. With support, neutral feedback and a safe space for communication and growth, you and your partner can heal and rediscover harmony.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Heal and Reconnect

If both you are your partner are committed to openly and authentically exploring yourselves and your relationship, couples counseling can be very effective. It can help you identify what is causing the space between you. In sessions, I can help you and your partner identify, explore and address both long-term and pressing issues in a controlled, honest, validating and empathetic environment. I believe that progressive change occurs through understanding, so in our sessions we will work specifically on correcting or healing your emotional experience with each other. Cognitively, emotion is where real work and processing happens. Insomuch, our work will encourage you and your partner to explore your full emotional selves. You can learn new ways of understanding what the other person is feeling and how you can communicate your own feelings more effectively. Unlike other relationship therapists, I do not assign homework or impose other types of manual treatments. Your sessions will be custom fit to your needs. You can learn how to open up and share your fears, hopes and desires. Exploring your distinctive communication styles will generate fresh ways of approaching and achieving what you both want out of your partnership.

I hold a doctorate in clinical psychology. Throughout my entire training and career, I have worked with couples. I’m part of long-term marriage myself, and I know firsthand the ups and downs that come with a committed relationship. I personally and professionally hold a sincere passion for this work, and I love seeing couples thrive and reach a new level of emotional awareness. With the guidance of an experienced psychologist, combined with your willingness to emotionally explore each other, you can redefine your relationship.  

Although your relationship needs work, you may still have some questions about couples counseling…

Our problems are worse than most.  We’ve hurt each other so much.  What if we can’t get past this?

Maybe you and your partner are struggling with a betrayal so deep you’re unsure if couples counseling is even worth your time. However, if the hurt and disloyalty you experienced were unfixable, you wouldn’t be seeking therapy. During our early sessions, we will establish what you and your partner want to get out of therapy. It may be the case that your goal isn’t necessarily to stay together. Couples receive therapy for variety of reasons. Some couples seek therapy to have a more peaceful divorce. Some cannot decide whether or not they want to stay together. And, many couples find that the person they once connected with now feels more like a roommate than a lover. Regardless of what you and your partner are struggling with or your therapy goals, couples counseling can provide a safe, non-judgmental empathetic space for you and your partner to fully disclose how you’re feeling and receive objective, expert guidance on how to navigate emotions and move forward.

I have heard that couples counseling takes time and can be expensive.

Anything important is something we should make time for. If you became terribly ill, wouldn’t you seek a doctor for treatment? Self-care and emotional wellbeing are as important as physical health, and like everything else, requires maintenance. If your relationship is under distress and is impacting other aspects of your life, it’s in your best interest to seek advice from a professional.

I think I’d feel ashamed if people found out that we’re in therapy.

There is no shame in seeking objective advice about how to better take care of yourself and your relationship. Nobody takes a class on how to be a great partner. We all grew up with different examples of what relationships look like, and at times our different worlds will inevitably fall out of synch. Becoming better equipped to deal with these differences and reaching a better emotional understanding of yourself and your partner takes courage and dedication. I firmly believe that with this work you will find peace and empathy, and not added fear and anxiety. Furthermore, sessions are confidential. No one will find out that you are in therapy unless you chose to disclose that information. 

You Can Be Happy In Love And Life

If you feel like the issues you and your partner experience require outside, professional guidance, don’t wait to be happy. Please email me at drruchikukreja@gmail.com to discuss what couples counseling can offer you and your partner.